恋爱不是加减法,请不要按部就班。感情的付出一定要对等吗?希望如此,但往往事与愿违。不要在意谁付出得更多,因为在一起本身就已经是最想要的回报了。五个稳固爱情的最佳有效表达方式。

五个稳固爱情的最佳有效表达方式

In love? You have a built-in brain-booster sitting right across the breakfast table. Here's how to make the most of it for extra smarts:

恋爱了?那么坐在餐桌对面的那个TA,就为你装了一台内置的智力推动器。下面就来看看怎样通过恋爱让你更聪明:

1、Marry someone similar to you, if a bit smarter。找一个和你一样聪明、甚至更聪明的人结婚

A Seattle Longitudinal Study found that the most stable relationships were those in which people were similar in intelligence, flexibility of attitudes, social responsibility, and education levels. Researchers also found that after 14 years together, spouses with the better grasp of verbal meanings and word fluency had pulled the lower-functioning spouses up to their level.

一项西雅图纵向研究发现,那些在智力、态度灵活性、社会责任感以及教育水平方面相似的夫妻,关系最稳定。研究人员还发现,共同生活14年后,夫妻双方中对语义和语言流畅性掌握得更好的一方,会将另一方的能力也提升到和自己相同的水平。

2、Hold hands whenever possible。只要可能,牵住爱人的手

In addition to creating feelings of warmth and closeness, holding hands can help inoculate you from stress. One study using brain scans found that when married women were told they were about to receive an electric shock, just holding their husbands' hands minimized their brains' response to the threat. Women in the closest relationships experienced the greatest decrease in stress-related brain activity.

手牵手不仅可以让人产生温暖和亲近的感觉,还可以帮助你减轻压力。一项研究通过脑部扫描发现,当妻子得知她们要接受一次电击,握住丈夫的手会让她们的大脑对于这次威胁的反应减到最小。而妻子和丈夫的关系越亲密,她们的大脑对压力产生的反应也就越小。

3. Kiss at least once a day。每天至少接吻一次

This intimate touch triggers the release of the bonding hormone oxytocin and lowers levels of the stress hormone cortisol - but that's not all. Researchers say that when we kiss, we activate nearly half of the cranial nerves that affect cerebral function. All of the sensory information of a kiss - the smell and warmth of your partner's skin, the taste and feel of soft lips - shoots into your brain, delighting your neurons and forging new connections.

这种亲密接触会促进脑下垂体后叶荷尔蒙的分泌,而且会降低压力激素皮质醇的水平。不仅如此,研究人员称当人们接吻时,我们会调动将近一半可以影响大脑功能的脑神经。所有关于接吻的感官信息——你伴侣身上的味道和温度、柔软双唇的触觉和感觉——会全部发送到你的大脑中,这会让你的神经元兴奋,并产生新的联系。

4. Put pictures of your honey on your desk。把爱人的照片摆在桌上

Brain scans show that looking at a photo of your beloved, especially in the early stages of your relationship, activates a part of the brain associated with pleasure and reward as well as focused attention and motivation. When you're in the throes of new love, your prefrontal cortex also gets into the action, anticipating more time together and planning future events.

脑部扫描表明,注视爱人的照片会激活大脑中和愉悦相关的某个部分,从而有助于注意力集中、更有积极性。对于恋爱初期的人来说更是如此。当你陷入爱情的苦恼时,你的前额皮质也会活跃,你会期望更多的相处时间并对未来做出计划。

5. Just be together。和爱人在一起

One study found that average blood pressure was lower when a person spent time with his or her spouse than when they spent time alone or with other people. Even if you don't talk, just spend time in the same room, reading, watching TV, surfing the web, or doing crossword puzzles.

一项研究发现,当人们和伴侣在一起时,他们血压的平均值会比自己独处或和其他人相处时要低。哪怕你和爱人并不交谈,只是坐在同一间房里,看书、看电视、上网,或者做填字游戏。